The Casting Dock

Countdown to Lil’G: Week 22

Alright lil’ dude,
in an effort to not wish every possible thing for you,
thereby kind of wishing you nothing special at all, I’ve decided to pick just ten.
Ten wishes
for you as you learn and grow.
Wishes, hopes, dreams, prayers, all of it.
These are my priorities, the things I hope to teach you both explicitly and implicitly,
the lifestyle I hope your dad and I will model.

1. Honorable character.

This is one of the many traits that your dad lives well. He is a man of integrity, guided very strongly by a moral compass. Even in the little things, the things that no one else sees. Sometimes stupidly so even (like last week when he insisted on going to work during a snowstorm because he didn’t want it to be perceived that he was “taking advantage” of the fact that everyone happened to be out of his office that day).
But always with the purest of intentions–to be beyond reproach.

I have always loved that word.
It meant the world to me in high school–to have a solid reputation, to stand for something.
I think back on that high school girl sometimes, all pure and naive, and I smile.
I really am so proud of her.
In high school my boyfriend and I had an understanding, a “rule” if you will: when we were the only people at my house, we wouldn’t go upstairs. My house held an open door policy at the time. It wasn’t locked, people (my friends, my family, whoever) could come and go as they pleased generally speaking. And my mom and I had a solid relationship. I knew I had her trust, her full backing. I don’t think I ever explicitly told her this at the time, but I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that, anything to give a sliver of suspicion as to my intentions or my integrity.

And so “the rule” was born.

I never wanted the opportunity for my mom (or anyone else for that matter) to walk into my house, find us alone together upstairs and wonder what we were doing. Especially dating someone 2+ years older than me, I didn’t want there to be any room for a wandering thought as to my character.
Pure as a bumble bee.

I want that for you.
I want you to care what others think about you.
Not in every sense. But in this sense I do.
For the people who matter to you, the ones whose character you admire.
I want you to have morals and integrity and conviction and I want you to stand by them. I want you to think about how your actions could be perceived and to choose to be beyond reproach. Even if sometimes you look like an idiot, like your dad out there fishtailing in the snow.
It’s worth it.

I think you’ll help me to get back that girl, the one who cared about the little things so much because the little things spoke to bigger things. I think I’ve lost a little of that along the way.
But that’s what I want for you.
And for us as a little family of three.

1 comment

1 Noche { 03.14.13 at 10:33 pm }

You are right…the little things do count… They are the building blocks for the big things. Kuddos to you & Clint (boyfriend) for making the little things important enough to guide your decisions in your relationship.

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