The Casting Dock

A teaser…

Today is a big day, ladies and gents.  Well, not really…it’s actually a very normal, low-key (though unseasonably warm!) Thursday, BUT tomorrow will be a big day, at least for my faithful blog readers it will be!  We will be having our first guest blogger!  I know what you’re thinking, But Lisa, we’ve only had you for a mere 2 weeks.  We want more of you.  We looooove you.  You inspire our lives and make our days meaningful (what’s that??? I mayyyy be overestimating the worth of my blog and the extreme enjoyment you each glean from it? Well, whatever…let’s just pretend that you all love me and every enlightened little word that drips from my mouth.)  So, where were we?  Oh yes, you all were staunchly protesting this guest blogger with beseeching eyes and pouty lips.  Do not fear, faithful blog readers, you will see plennnnnnnty more of me, but you’ll just have to trust me when I say, this guest blogger will not disappoint.  In fact, let me give you some tasty snapshots of this person just to whet your appetite:

1.  This person’s guilty pleasures are female pop music, cookies, and The Bachelor/ette.

2.  One time I found this person standing next to his/her book shelf with a computer making an alphabetized and categorized list of every book that he/she owns.

3.  This person spits in the toilet everytime before he/she pees, like clockwork (ok, yes, I give in–it’s a guy…you caught me. That clue was really not gender nuetral: I don’t know any girls that spit in the toilet, period, let alone religiously before they pee…and I’m not sure I’d want them guest blogging if I did {just kidding–I would never discriminate}).

4. We (being a group of people) have established that he could run the 40 faster than Mike Lowell (there isn’t a total consensus on this, but there’s really only one person holding out in the negativo column…)

5.  He loved the “jeans” with elastic at the bottom as a child.  I also learned last night that his most embarrassing moment was wetting his pants in third grade because he was laughing so hard when the kid who, in his words, spent a lot of time in his own world, came bouncing into the classroom with his hair in a ponytail on the top of his head. After the “incident,”  he then sat in the bathroom and waited for someone to bring him a change of clothes. Poor kid.

6.  He has a knack for being awesome at things that don’t really pay dividends in regular life, or as he says, “for things that just don’t matter.” Examples include playing the video game Madden and pool basketball.  He seriously is freakishly good at both of those things, but what does that really getcha?

7.  He is a nerd in the most endearing sense of the word (you should hear him talk about ancient Rome…) but is also an athlete and STRONG sports enthusiast.  A killer combo in my eyes.

OK, enough random ramblings.  It’s time for the big reveal…my first guest blogger will be:

This Sexy Beast. 

Otherwise known as my adorable husband (and yes, I am aware that 98% of you knew I was talking about Jerry from point 1 {and if not, you definitely should have known it by point 3…} and yes, I am aware that those random facts were truly rannn-dommm and really had nothing to do with the quality of guest blogger that he will be…but they made you a little curious, didn’t they??!  And for the record, I should say that the Bachelor/ette is my guilty pleasure, not his…I just wasn’t ready to own it yet…)

But in all seriousness, he is HILARIOUS and despite knowing him so well that I can often predict what he’s thinking or anticipate his witty one-liner about something, he STILL routinely makes me lose it laughing…not to the point that I have wet my pants…but I leave that role for him in this marriage…(ohhh, Pam with a zinger…)

To give you a taste for his style, here is a little blurb that he sent in an email chain a month or so ago when we were talking about clowns and birthday parties:

In kindergarten we had some kind of circus activity for parents to come see. We all dressed up as different circus-type personalities and had acts. They cast me and some other kid as the strong man. Apparently they didn’t realize I’d grow up to be a skinny white dude, even though I was skinnier and whiter at the time than I am now. It gets worse. What do strong men apparently wear at the circus? Leopard-print costumes that look like what some WWE wrestlers wear: one strap over the shoulder, lots of leg showing, etc. I proceeded to lift up dumbbells made of cardboard for the parents. In retrospect, it was demoralizing. Do you ever look back on the things that parents and teachers make kids do and wonder, “What ever convinced them that this was a good idea?” I do…

And I dug up this picture from the archives to really drive the visual home (if only he was holding the dumbbells…):

It’s just SOOOO good.  Gets me everytime.  I mean, really savor that; it’s tasty…

4 comments

1 k&c's mom { 10.29.10 at 3:53 am }

That does it: I’m canceling the second grade circus. And pumpkin day. And any other demoralizing activities that can be traced to my classroom by decades-old photographs of young boys who don’t know they are funny for the wrong reasons.
Love your blog; can’t wait to read the guest blogger. (Who in my mind is VERY secure to let you include all those revealing past facts.)

2 Lisa { 10.29.10 at 4:01 am }

Ha, what funny timing–I was literally JUST reading your blog as you were reading mine! I can’t believe Chris rode his bike that far!! And yes–Jerry is VERY secure…and he would do anything for a good laugh, even at his own expense. He’s the best. Thanks for reading!

3 Rhonda { 10.29.10 at 12:56 pm }

I love when you write about Jerry. It always makes me laugh but it also gives me a peek at how happy you are in married life and that makes me excited for you both! It will be interesting to see what he writes…perhaps he has some great stories and pictures of you!

4 Lisa { 10.29.10 at 1:17 pm }

Rhonda,

This was Jerry’s response to reading my blog about him (via email because he was working…and in case the tone is hard to read, he’s being playful and is totally fine with me poking fun at him):

Wow. I may have to change my guest blog topic into a reciprocal Lisa-bashing. I mean, not only did you coldly hurl me under the bus, but you then hopped into the driver’s seat and drove over my defenseless carcass several times just for good measure. It’s a wonder I tell you anything about my past because you always use it against me. You’re lucky I’m a sucker for making people laugh, even at my own expense. Consider yourself warned: at some point, at some time, I will strike back in the public forum that is your blog. This relationship is, after all, built on mutuality…

He cracks me up!

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